You think you know, but you have no idea. No, this isn’t MTV Diary (which, by the way, senior Felix Owusu watched before it was cool). That was the first thing Felix told The WEB when we inquired into his family life. The Owusus have always been shrouded in mystery since they came to America from Ghana, but, after living in the states for over a decade now, they’ve finally agreed to make themselves public. “My younger brother is Michael, but he’s really barely a brother,” Felix said. Michael Owusu is a 12-year old attending Ames Middle School. He is the family’s token pest, eating their food and filling the Owusu household with noise pollution (aka rock and roll). Felix characterizes him as a “Chubby little tyke,” and declined to go into more detail about him, beyond the fact that he is the only family member not born in Ghana. “We generally try to ignore him as much as possible,” Felix said. Emanuel Owusu may be a more familiar character to Ames High, as he graduated in 2005. He’s now a student at ISU, although currently on “thin ice” with administrators. Emanuel enjoys sitting in his room and generally being a badass. He’s notorious for flaming good looks, made hotter only by a scorching temper. Felix claims he once looked at Emanuel with a lazy eye, and was beaten for it. While driving to school. Just as every motor bar needs a fearless bouncer, the Owusus have a firm, yet calming presence in their mother Teresa Korsah. She works nights and sleeps days, so rest of the family hasn’t actually seen her in three years—perhaps the reason for her supreme influence. Korsah is well-loved by Felix, making sure he always has rice, chicken, and Naked juice at his disposal. While he was unable to elaborate much on her personality due to lack of knowledge, he noted that she was “endearing and caring, but a bad driver.” Families—at least those that work—are inevitably balancing acts, so there must naturally be an imposing presence to counter Mrs. Korsah. Enter Francis Owusu, the head of the household. Francis is “the strong, silent type,” so Felix hasn’t spoken to him in quite a time, either. This, however, is more due to lack of courage than opportunity. Francis is a professor at Iowa State, where he intimidates his students with what was one described as a “glance that knows no opacity.” His hobbies include suspecting the worst, and his favorite feeling is disapproval. “Last year, I got grounded for a month for coming home late, even though it was because I stopped to save a cat from the sewer. The worst part is, he didn’t want to keep the cat, so he just put it back in there,” Felix said. When you can all find them in the same place, the Owusu clan will probably be at church, eating rice and chicken, or sitting at home in their own separate rooms. However, while wood, plaster, and a general sense of mistrust may often keep the family physically apart, they share some very special connections. They were born in a sweet West African nation (except Michael), have been through or are planning higher education (except Michael), and all dislike their little brother (again, except Michael). While they may not technically be African-American, the Owusus have traits that are both distinctly African and distinctly American. And isn’t this sort of familiar diversity what makes the world go round?