My mom and I have had a long-running inside joke that someday I will write a newspaper or magazine column and call it “Don’t Just Do That.” DJDT will focus on the atrocities that our twisted society allows men and women to get away with wearing and aims to educate these very people on how to dress themselves in a way that doesn’t make them look like mutated hobos from Mars. Let’s start with the basics: you do not (I repeat: DO NOT) wear athletic shoes with skinny jeans. It absolutely does not work in any situation. Even if your outfit is particularly wonderful that day, the choice of athletic shoes just destroys any level of social acceptability that you might have obtained through the rest of your clothes. Save the sneakers for when you’re working out. Please. Secondly, it is not fashionable to be monochromatic . It works well on the runway, but even then they’re playing around with shades and tones so it all works. It’s fine if it happens once or twice, but get it together, people. It’s a ton of fun (and totally socially acceptable) to experiment with colors and patterns. Even if you wear contrasting patterns, you can make a statement by grounding it with neutrals and solids. It is completely unnecessary to expose as much skin as possible. Keep it modest and leave the rest of you to the imagination. Too much skin is either repulsive or trashy… or both. Most importantly, learn to appreciate your body! One thing that I notice when visiting big cities is that you see virtually every body type imaginable, and no one tries to hide themselves. You’re beautiful so learn to dress in a way that flatters your shape and you’ll be unstoppable. Just because we live in Iowa doesn’t mean you have to dress like a stereotypical Iowan- fashion is allowed here. If you follow these tips, you are on the way to improving your wardrobe! Huzzah! Though these are just the basics, they really make a difference, so pay attention, and don’t just do that.