Ames High is always on a roll for something, whether it be back-to-back State titles for Cheerleading, All-State musicians, or the recent dominance of Girl’s Swimming. Even though all of these rolls are good, the worst roll at Ames High is in your local stall. Yes, I’m talking about TP. Toilet paper, as Wikipedia defines, “is a tissue paper product primarily used for the cleaning up after going to the bathroom and acts as a layer of protection for the hands during this process.” However, that last bit, about protection for the hands, is anything but the truth. If 0-ply toilet paper was a thing, that would explain the current situation. If I used the school bathroom, which I don’t(I prefer home), I’d probably find the brown, scratchy paper towels to be better, because those aren’t a craptastrophe. While in the bathroom earlier today, I asked the person to my right what he thought of the toilet paper, he wasn’t really that fond of it.

“It’s too thin.” Eric Baldrige, Senior

“I use it when I need to, it’s not ideal to use.” Aaron Lewis, Senior

“Yeah.” Marshawn Lynch

“This TP sucks!” Beavis

“Gilbert’s toilet paper is crap, but it’s better than Ames’” Thomas Pollard