First of all, I’d like to state that my mother has been clean and sober for over two years. I couldn’t be more proud of her. I was 12 years old when my mom told me she was an alcoholic. I remember sitting in the car next to her and being agonizingly angry. It hurt to know that the person I worshipped and admired my whole life was practically a lie. I’ve never really had a good relationship with my dad, so I felt very alone in my situation.

You might be thinking, why is she sharing something so personal? I am sharing this with my fellow Ames High students in hopes of being able to reach out to one of you, just like someone reached out to me. There is a solution. There are people who understand, and want to listen.

If you’re like me and grew up around alcoholism, it might not have been evident to you. I  didn’t realize it until my mom told me. It then dawned on me why my parents really got divorced. That’s a lot to put on a 12 year old, isn’t it?

A lot of people say they feel bad for me, especially since I was the one who had to take care of my (at the time) nine year old brother. I don’t feel bad at all. If my mom wasn’t an alcoholic I wouldn’t be where I am today. My mom entered a 12 step program to get help, which introduced me to a program for the children of alcoholics’ called Alateen. Alateen changed my life. I used to dread waking up in the morning, I used to slip up in school. My life was a giant mess, but when I walk into Alateen, everything changed. I’m now a straight A student and I’m fighting my way into happiness.

Growing up in my situation lead to a lot of anxiety and depression. I’m not saying I’m cured; I’m saying it gets easier when you accept help and realize that their alcoholism is not your fault, and you can’t control them or help them. You have to fix yourself before you can be helpful to other people. You are beautiful and worth it. You are not your alcoholic’s mistakes. You are not worthless, useless, or unloved. You are important! There are other people like you out there who can help. It gets better, I promise. I know it hurts and you feel broken and you just want to feel like you belong somewhere.

That’s my favorite thing about Alateen. I’m the kind of person who floats around from friend group to friend group, but in Alateen, I belong. I have a place where I know I’m safe and I can be okay. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen doubt this miracle program and then try it for themselves and fall in love with it. There is a catch, though. You have to want to better yourself. You have to try and want things to change. You have to give it your all and stick with it. Opening up hurts, but it helps.

Alateen is based on anonymity, which basically means I can’t tell you who is in the program without their permission, but I can tell you that I’m in it because it is my decision. I really hope that I’ve been able to make a difference in at least one of you. If you’re interested in a meeting please feel free to email me or search meetings near you. You won’t regret it, I promise.