I’ve always liked writing about whatever’s interested me, but I don’t like writing about myself specifically. It never comes out right and it feels egotistical. This entire article isn’t my kinda gig, where either I dispense academic advice with my incredible 2.07 GPA, give social tips when I did Senior Skip Day on the wrong day, or write some sorta thing where I wallow in self-pity and talk about how awful I am or how awful things done to me are, when I prefer to keep my ranting to friends only.

Instead, I’m just gonna give a list of a few things that I remember clearly during my time here at Ames High. I fondly remember inviting my friends over to play fighting games and watch bad movies till the sun came up. I treasure my arguments with Mr. Mooney, and even in the grip of senioritis I still respect him. I remember going down to Ada Hayden and the Ledges and spending hours at each place biking and canoeing and spending time with those I truly care for.

I remember the comical, grotesque, unreal way that a young deer with a broken leg danced across the headlights while driving back from my uncle’s funeral. I remember staring into space for hours listening to music about the beautiful ugliness that is life. I remember snapping at one of my friends, saying precisely the right things to hurt him most after an argument went on too long.

I remember not being able to lift the regular bar in Weights in freshman year, and I remember the awkward, painful, satisfying increase of my abilities, now lifting a full ninety pounds heavier than what I did those eight semesters ago. I remember playing video games with friends until two in the morning, not regretting a thing until my alarm clock blared at me the next day. I remember hearing the surprise and happiness in my grandfather’s voice when I called him out of the blue to talk about movies he liked.

All of these moments are in my brain, a barrage of color and feeling and moments and so much more. So many more events that, with the smallest reminder, bubble up and make me remember them as well. So many photos I’ve taken, freezing those moments in crystal, my technology remembering for me.

Some of these memories will fade away, it’s certain. Maybe some memory I overlook now as commonplace will be endlessly replayed in my mind in the future.

I am going to give one piece of advice for anybody who’s gotten to the end of this insanely self-indulgent rambling: you’re gonna make it. It might not be what you were expecting it to be, but you’re going to find your own way in life and find your own level of success. My not-so-stellar grades are encouraging me to take a gap year- now I get to have a full year of adventure and self-discovery before I head off to the next level of education. I wanted to fade away in the past, but now I take pride when I glow brightly. I haven’t found true happiness, but I think I’ve found self-acceptance, and that’s halfway to happiness anyways.