Every day, my life is transformed into a living nightmare. I live in constant terror that, at any moment, I could be struck with an event that will stop whatever I’m doing and inflict me with excruciating emotional pain. I’m talking, of course, about Chrome’s “Aw, Snap!” error.

If by some miracle you have managed to avoid this catastrophic interruption of your day’s work, take heed: it will strike at any time, sparing nobody. Some seem to be more unfortunate than others, experiencing more crashes at more inconvenient times.

No man knows from whence this unholy terror crawled forth, but none are safe from its clutches. All will be mocked by the dead eyed, pixelated folder. The only way to cure a computer of Chrome crashing is to restart, which can take an unbearable 30 seconds–or even a minute.

I, for one, am tired. I don’t want this insanity to continue. I have tried reinstalling chrome, removing extensions, turning cookies off, turning cookies on, playing with settings, but all to no avail. I beg of you, readers, if you know a solution: save us all. Write an email to us at [email protected]. We will listen. We will publish your name if you want, and you will be hailed as the savior of the entire school.

Some have recommended that we switch to Firefox, or even worse, Safari. But I ask: is it truly worth it to degenerate into such inhuman savagery that we use Safari? We are better than this. We can overcome the Chrome crashes. We are stronger than these mad times we live in.