For the past few weeks, I have been plagued. I am diseased to the point of constant sneezing and wheezing and the likes. We the people at Ames High are sick, not siq, only to be more damaged by our “friend’s” relationships. What I am saying is, the blame and fault of our ill mess is on the romantics.

With the rotting members of our high school constantly wavering in attendance, one would try to pinpoint the cause to all of the madness. The couples at Ames High are the epicenter of these ailing symptoms.

Because you can view the constant fondling and caressing seen of these hormone filled teenagers, it is hard to argue otherwise. The close and intimate contact of these individuals is surely the ideal contamination circumstances to spread to the rest of the population. From their romantic handlings of each other, these lovers go on to spend time with their friends and family, furthering the endless cycle of bad health.

Take my advice: If you value your health and your sanity, do not fondle in the hallways. Not only are you destroying the perfectly fine and mentally sound environment around you, you are putting yourself at risk for infection.